I always think of her.

Whenever I am down, her face views my sight. I said that I accepted that she is totally gone and she is not with us anymore. But no matter how I really tried to accept the bitter reality, her memories keeps haunting me. I love her so much and I miss her deeply. Whenever I am depress and whenever I think I carry the burden of the world on my shoulders, I listen to the music that is of her favorite. Whenever I hear it, I am comforted and secured that she is near and with me, with us.

It is so hard to accept the fact that she is really gone. No matter how I tried especially when I can recall the selfish acts of my stepmother and father, I always wish and hope Mama is here.

I know that I should be happy because she is now at peace and in peace together with the Lord. I should have let her go but it seems letting go is the hardest thing to do. I know that I am strong in facing trials. I know that I will not retreat nor surrender. But it seems that I am gradually feeling her deep lost that makes me lonely all the time. I really really really really really really miss her so much!

I hope that time comes that I can get over this. I hope that day will be always.

BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED, I STUCK UP ON THIS!